Followers of The Mountain
by captainwii
Summary: The people of South Park are faced with an awkward dilemma when a mysterious religious cult, that worship Stan and his friends as gods, arrive and offer their aid to the children of South Park, but can these bizarre worshipers of fourth graders be trusted?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It started out as what seemed to be a regular Wednesday morning.

Stan Marsh just finished having breakfast when his dad, Randy Marsh, who was still in his bathrobe and pajamas, entered the kitchen, appearing a little unnerved.

"Hey Stan," Mr. Marsh said, "hate to bother you, but there's something out front I think you should see."

Stan looked at his dad with confusion, "Why? What's going on?"

Mr. Marsh scratched the back on his head, as if feeling a little awkward talking about something, "Would you believe me if I told you there's a handful of teenaged girls dressed like you kneeling in prayer in front of the house?"

"Seriously?" Stan said in disbelief, he then promptly ran to the living room and looked out the front window to exactly what his dad said was happening; a trio of girls in their mid to late teens kneeling on the sidewalk in front of the house and praying.

Randy followed him and said, "I tried to talk to them to see what's what, but they kept yelling 'blasphemer' at me until I went back inside."

Stan couldn't believe the sight he saw, Stand thought to himself, _who the hell are they? Why are they praying in front of the house? And why are they dressed in teen-sized versions of my clothes?_

"Any idea why they're here?" Stan asked.

"You're guess is as good as mind, but they've been just praying here for about an hour" Mr. Marsh replied, as he was clearly as confused, "I think it might have something to do with you."

Stand gave his dad a deadpan look and snarked, "I think I'd remember if my coat and hat became all the range in fashion circles. Think I should talk to them?"

"Well, those girls don't want anything to do with me, your mom went to work early, and I somehow doubt Shelly would want to have anything to do with them, so yeah, good call," Mr. Marsh said in agreement, "Don't worry, I'll keep watch in case things get out of hand."

"Yeah…, you do that," Stan said as he headed out the front door.

As Stan approached the praying teens, the girls didn't seem to notice him and simply kept praying. When Stan was close enough, he first kept quiet out of curiosity so he could listen in on what the teen girls were saying in unison;

"May we aid those less fortunate by lending both ear and hand, may we protect our weaker kin from all harshness and oppression, let our hands strike down all foolish and evil enough to harm creatures of nature, let our eyes see what your enemies cannot, let our feet walk these new holy grounds so that we may baptize it in the waters on your infinitely superior empathy, and humble all who question or oppose you, Lord Stan, hear our prayer."

"Wait! Wait! 'Lord Stan'?-!" Stan exclaimed in shock.

Finally, upon hearing what Stan said, the teen girls quickly rose their heads to see him stand in front of them.

Two of the younger teen girls seemed a little shy toward Stan, but the third and oldest of the teen, who was a Caucasian girl with curly brown hair, looked at Stan with a combination of awe and amazement.

"O Stan the Empathetic," The brown-haired teen said, "We are deeply blessed and honored for you to bless us with your divine presence. How may we serve you?"

Stan could only stare at the three teens in shock.

One minute later, Stan went back into the house and found his dad was still standing near the living room window.

"So, what did you find out?" Mr. Marsh asked.

Stan scratched the back of his head awkwardly, then said, "Would you believe me if I you told those girls think I'm a god?"

Randy Marsh stared at his son in stunned silence for a few seconds…

…..

…..

…..

Then he fainted.

One hour later, Stan arrived at the bus stop and saw Kyle and Kenny were already here.

"Morning, guys," Stan greeted then sighed, "You won't believe what happened to me this morning."

"Let me guess, you got people dressed like you praying in front of your house?" Kyle asked.

"Wait," Stan said in surprise, "it's happened to you too, Kyle?"

"And Kenny as well," Kyle nodded then said with a slightly sarcastic tone, "Apparently I'm 'Lord Kyle The Wise'. Mom tried to shoo them off, but my so-called 'worshipers' only left when I told them to."

"You should see what happened at my house," Kenny said through his hood, "I woke up to see some orange-parka-wearing teenaged girls drop off some electric heaters and a dozen TV dinners as tribute to 'Lord Kenny the Hedonist'."

"The Hedonist?" Stan asked.

"Yeah, guess that makes me the Dionysus of fourth graders," Kenny shrugged, "But hey, house is a little warmer, so I'm not complaining."

"Wait," Stan said, "if you, Kyle, and I have people worshiping us as gods, would that mean…."

All three boys gave a look of absolute horror.

Kyle could only say, "Ooooooh, shit."

They suddenly heard a familiar voice;

"Hey, not too fast! You're making it too bouncy!"

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny all turned to see something they never thought they'd see;

Eric Cartman was being carried on a roofless litter that was being lifted by four heavily muscled teen boys whose build suggested they were high school jocks, possibly even high school football players. Those same teen boys were also dressed in teen-sized versions of Cartman's usual clothes.

The male Cartman worshipers stopped at the bus stop and lowered the litter, allowing Cartman to walk out.

"Hey guys!" Cartman greeting with surprising enthusiasm, "You're all not gonna believe this, but something amazing happened to me this morning."

"Let me guess, you're being worshiped as a god?" Kyle asked.

"Hell yes!" Cartman exclaimed, "This is the happiest day of my life, I got people just appearing at my doorstep ready to serve me, there's only one thing that can make this better."

Cartman pointed at one of the Cartman worshipers and said, "You there, as your god, I, Eric The Prideful, command you to…. Beat up Kahl."

"What!-?" Kyle exclaimed in shock.

"Kick Kahl's ass, kick him 'till he cries, your god has spoken," Cartman commanded.

But instead of attacking Kyle, the Cartman worshiper simply kneeled before his 'god' and said, "Forgive me, O Prideful One, but it would be sacrilegious to harm or ridicule another god."

"What!-? What are you talking about?" Cartman asked, "You all said that I'm your one true god!"

"Technically, yes," the kneeling Cartman worshiper said with a nod, "But as sworn Followers of the Mountain, our rules demand that we recognize and respect the godhood of all Children of the Mountain, all gods, even if they're not the ones we choose to worship."

"Wait, all gods?" Cartman asked curiously, he then turned to the three other boys, then started thinking for a few seconds, then turned back toward the kneeling worshipper, pointing his thumb at his three friends, "You mean…?"

"Yes, Lord Eric," The kneeling Follower replied, "Your divine friends Stan the Empathetic, Kyle the Wise, and Kenny the Hedonist, are all among the recognized gods to us, the Followers of the Mountain."

"Hold up," Stan intervened, "are you saying there are more people in town you people think are gods?"

"Oh, yes, Lord Stan," the kneeling Follower said, "As I'm but an acolyte. I myself have yet to fully memorize all their names. But I believe once you all reach school, you may find out which among your classmates have been blessed with divinity."

Kyle face-palmed, "Sigh, kids being worshiped as gods? That has to be one of the most insane things I've ever heard of, and that's saying a lot. I mean, who came up with this?"

"Forgive me, Divine Ones," the kneeling Follower finally stood up, "but I'm afraid I don't have that answer, but I know our Grand Priestess would be more than happy to answer any questions, would you like me to call her to arrange a meeting?"

The boys and the Cartman Followers suddenly heard the school bus coming.

"Oops, too late to call her," one of the Cartman Followers said, "But if you still wish to meet her, you'll likely find her in the Baskin-Robbins in South Park Mall, she likes to go there with her daughter every afternoon at 4:00 PM, fare thee well!"

The school bus made its stop and the boys quickly entered the bus and took their seats as the bus started driving off.


	2. Chapter 2

While the bus was driving its way to school, the boys heard a familiar voice in distress.

"This can't be happening! Not again!" Tweek panicked, "I can't be a god again! That's way too much pressure!"

Tweek's word caught Kyle's attention, "You gotta be kidding, Tweek, there's people thinking you're a god too?"

"This ain't no joke, man!" Tweek replied, "I found some crazy teenaged girls dressing like me, praying in front my house and calling me 'Tweek The Vigilant,' I was lucky I ran to the bus before my parents were even awake, I don't know how they'd react and I don't want to know!"

Kyle sighed, "This is beyond ridiculous!"

Stan stood up on his seat and called out, "Okay, anyone on this bus whose being worshiped as a deity, raise your hand and say what title you were given."

Sure enough, quite afew kids raised their hand.

"Craig the Defiant,"

"Wendy the Logical,"

"Token the Stable,"

"Clyde the Compassionate,"

"Jimmy The T-t-t-tenacious,

"Butters The Pure!"

"Timmy!"

"Okay, that's five…six….seven….." Kyle counted, "Plus the four of us means so far we have a pantheon of eleven fourth graders."

Wait! Wait…" Cartman said with disbelief in his voice, then turned out to look at Butters, "Did I hear you right, Butters? Did you say you're a god too?"

"Yep!" Butters cheerfully replied, "Pretty neato isn't it?"

"Me dammit!" Cartman swore, "That means my worshipers have to respect you too! What kind of religion that worships me won't go down on people I don't like?-! This blows! And worshiping Butters of all people? Whoever's into that is insane beyond belief."

"Yeah, I heard about this 'Union' the Followers are in from my 'worshipers'," Wendy said while doing finger quotes, "Though technically it only means your worshipers can't harm or disrespect any other gods like Butters, or Kyle.." Wendy's voice briefly trailed off in realization, "Or me!"

"Exactly!" Cartman exclaimed.

Afew hours later…

During an assembly in the school gym, Mr. Mackey started addressing the students of South Park Elementary. The kids noticed an unnamed police officer standing next to him, the officer was a male Caucasian, had shaved brown hair, appeared in what seemed to be his late twenties or early thirties, wore what was pretty much the standard uniform of a South Park police officer minus a police hat and plus a black jacket with the police badge pinned on the front of it, and his posture and demeanor was overwhelmingly professional and stoic.

"Okay children, settle down, m'kay," Mr. Mackey said, "Now for this assembly, I would like you to welcome our new faculty member, m'kay, he's a newly recruited member of the South Park Police Department who volunteered for a job as the school resource officer for South Park Elementary, m'kay. Now, please welcome Officer Joseph McRobert, m'kay."

Mr. Mackey handed the microphone to Officer McRobert.

"Thank you, Mr. Mackey," Officer McRobert said, "Now I'm sure some of you are curious about my new job as the school's first resource officer, but I'm afraid current circumstances demand I be bearer of some grim news; some of you are probably wondering why PC Principal isn't here to join us in this assembly, no?"

Officer McRobert heard some murmurs in the crowd, but couldn't make them out, he sighed, "Well, I'm afraid I don't know how to break this to you all gently, so I'll just put it straight; PC Principal is dead, murdered."

There was even more murmurs in the crowd now, the officer waited a few seconds before he continued.

"The news came to me from my superiors just shortly before I came here this morning," Officer McRobert said, "While I'm not at liberty to discuss the details of the case, I assure you the South Park Police Department is investigating the murder as I speak, and will work to the best of their abilities to catch and convict PC Principal's killer."

The officer faintly muttered through his microphone with contempt in his voice, "For whatever that's worth."

Officer McRobert continued in his normal tone, "The frat-boys in his delta house are already making plans for his funeral, they agreed to notify me or Mr. Mackey when they have a date scheduled, and attendance is purely optional. And the school's superintendent plans on making arrangements for his replacement, Miss Victoria is already under consideration to be given her old job back, but nothing's confirmed yet. In the meantime, the superintendent has informed me that Mr. Mackey and I will be in charge of the school until a replacement principal is provided. And given the circumstances, I think it's best that I explain further details of my new job tomorrow in a later assembly tomorrow. Thank you, assembly dismissed."

The students all got up and started exiting the gym in an orderly fashion. However, Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny were stopped when Officer McRobert, who was still holding the microphone, called out to them.

"Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, and Kenny McCormick," Officer McRobert called out, "Please follow me to my office, I have some questions for all of you."

The boys promptly followed the officer out of the gym, as they entered the hallway and the door to the gym closed behind them, they heard joyous cheers of celebration coming from the gym, along with party noise makers and the song "We Are The Champions" from Queen playing in the background.

The boys and the newly hired resource officer were able to easily guess what that celebration was about.

"You know, I somehow was expecting to get this reaction before we exited the gym, but no matter," Officer McRobert commented in a deadpan tone.

The boys arrived at the resource officer's office, which looked surprisingly small, as if roughly less than half the size of the principal's office. The office was also very bare compared to other rooms, with only a desk with a laptop, a walkie talkie, and a big container of Red Vine Licorice, as well as a handful of office chairs scattered around.

Officer McRobert moved four chairs in front of his desk for the boys to sit. The boys took the seats they were offered while Officer McRobert took a seat from behind his desk.

The newly hired Resource Officer opened the big plastic jar of Red Vines.

"Please, feel free to take a handful," Officer McRobert offered.

The boys awkwardly did what they were told and each of them took handfuls of some Red Vines, with Cartman eagerly munching on the ones he got.

Officer McRobert meanwhile simply stared at the boys awkwardly, with a look on his face that suggests he's unsure of what to say.

"Sooooo, what did you bring us here for, Officer?" Stan asked.

Officer McRobert sighed and said, "Okay, I'm gonna ask one simple question, but that will involve releasing some confidential information, so you four have to promise not to tell anyone anything about this meeting."

Cartman scoffed and asked mockingly, "What's so confidential? Your penis size?"

"Shut up, Cartman!" Kyle exclaimed, "Don't mind him, Officer, he's just an asshole."

Officer McRobert surprisingly chuckled, "First off, you can call me Joe, or Officer Joe if you prefer. Secondly, I appreciate the advice, Mr. Broflovski, but I think I'd do well not to underestimate the kid who fed 'parent-chili' to a teenaged boy."

Cartman leaned back on his chair slightly and inhaled deeply before saying in cheerful bliss "Ahh, the memories."

"But I seriously need you four to promise to keep this conversation a secret," Officer McRobert said, "Tell you what, if it will sweeten the deal, I'll help you skip one or two hours of class time this Friday by opening an optional 'assembly' which involves watching the movie Demolition Man, I'll even throw in free popcorn for whoever attends."

"Even without that deal you got my promise, Officer," Kyle said, he figured the Resource Officer wouldn't be asking this if it wasn't important.

"I promise, I'm not gonna waste a chance at free popcorn," Kenny said then thought to himself, _Assuming I live long enough to enjoy it._

"I promise, though I'm not too sure you can get away with something like this," Stan said.

"Let me worry about that," Officer McRobert, or Officer Joe, said, then stared at Cartman expectedly.

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny followed suit, Cartman knew what they were expecting of him.

"Alright, fine, I promise," Cartman begrudgingly said, "I don't get what the big deal is anyway."

"I think you'll see why when I ask my first question;" Officer Joe said, then asked, "Have either of you four ever been contacted by someone who goes by the alias 'Blue Rose'?"

"Blue Rose?" Stan asked, "who's that?"

Kyle asked confusingly, "Yeah, what are you talking about?"

"Sounds like a lesbian porno novel," Cartman mocked.

"Interesting idea, I know what books I'm gonna be looking for in the library later." Kenny said with a grin under his hood.

"Obviously none of you know what I'm talking about," Officer Joe said, "So congrats, you four just saved yourselves from me having to bring you to the station for questioning over being in contact with an assassin."

"An assassin?" Stan asked, a little worried.

"I left out a few details regarding PC Principal's murder," Officer Joe stated, "my colleagues in the police department believe his killer was the female professional assassin known only as the Blue Rose."

"So why'd you leave that out?" Kyle asked.

Officer Joe stated, "My superiors wanted me to avoid mentioning the Blue Rose to students to reduce the chances of spreading panic over how there's an assassin at large in South Park. While I somewhat agree with the notion, I figured that knowing your luck, there's a chance you four might get caught in the middle of this case, which may involve you finding out about the Blue Rose eventually, which is why I'm telling you about her now."

"So who is this Blue Rose?" Kyle asked, "And why would she kill PC Principal?"

"Intel on her has been sketchy, but what few witnesses who were willing and able to testify have confirmed she's an adult female who leaves a picture of a blue rose as a calling card after killing her targets. She used to simply be a regular hitwoman who killed people for whoever could afford her," Officer Joe said, "Until around seven years ago where she started suddenly killing strictly adults whom were suspected of harming or abusing children, with or without consent of the victims she believes to be championing."

"So that's why you're asking us if she's ever contacted us?" Kyle asked.

"Exactly," Officer Joe confirmed, "All four of you have in some way suffered at the hands of PC Principal or his allies, so killing him perfectly fits the Blue Rose's M.O."

"But you said she's killed people regardless of whether the victimized kid wants her too or not," Stan pointed out.

"True, she only contacts children as a formality and even then she sometimes skips that part," Officer Joe said, "I asked if she contacted you because I hoped that if she did I could find a way to track her down."

Officer Joe pulled out a stack of post-it notes and started writing down his cell phone number on four different notes before handing each of the boys his phone number, "But since none of you have been contacted by her, in case she tries to contact any of you for any reason, I want you to call me right away. And Cartman?"

Cartman raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"Don't bother seeking the Blue Rose out to have her kill people you don't like," Officer Joe warned, "You'd only be wasting your time since the Blue Rose doesn't do any killer-for-hire contracts anymore. Plus she makes the call alone on whoever she believes deserves death by her hands with no regard for the law and regardless of what evidence of abuse is stacked against her targets, so your own mother is just as likely to be slain by her as say... Mr. Mackey if she thinks you've been wronged by either of them in any way, regardless of whether or not you believe so as well."

Cartman looked surprisingly disturbed by what Officer Joe told him and only replied with, "Right….. message received."

"Good," Officer Joe nodded with approval.

"Hold up," Kyle said, "You seem to know quite a bit about us, but we've never met you before today and from what Mr. Mackey said about you, you've only been recently hired."

"Rest assured I have my sources," Officer Joe said, "They're in fact the same sources that allowing these 'Followers of the Mountain' to know much about you. I'll even show them to you all now-"

"Officer Joe! Officer Joe! do you read me? This is Hallway Monitor Ronald, come in!" a voice from Officer Joe's walkie talkie called out.

Officer Joe picked up the walkie talkie, "Officer Joe here, what's the situation?"

"Some teenage girls just waltzed into the school and are trying to run out with Scott Malkinson," The hallway monitor said, "We're reigning them in as best we can, but we need your help."

"Understood, I'm on my way," Officer Joe said as he stood up and turned off his walkie talkie, "I hate to cut this short, but duty calls. We'll have to get back to this later. But for now, you four get back to class."

Officer Joe escorted the boys out of the office before he locked the door and went off to deal with the problem.

"What was that all about?" Kyle asked with concern.

"I don't know," Stan replied, "But this beats out a lot of the other weird shit we've had to put up with. We better get to the bottom of this."

Kyle thought for a moment, "we might be too busy with our classes to get another chance to talk with Officer Joe today, so I think we better go see that 'Grand Priestess' after school."

"Yeah, if nothing else it seems like a good place to start," Stan agreed, "come on."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

A few hours later

Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny all were walking around the food court of South Park Mall.

"You know, I don't remember the last time I went to Baskin Robbins," Stan pointed out, "Anyone seeing it?"

"OMG! OMG!" Cried out a rather hyperactive voice.

The boys turned around and saw a Caucasian teenaged girl staring right at them with immense glee. She had shoulder-length black hair with blue highlights, black-framed glasses, wore a dark green sweater, a blue denim skirt, and knee-high brown boots.

"Wow! Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny!" The girl exclaimed cheerfully, "The four most amazing boys in the world!"

"Let me guess," Stan said with his voice dripping with sarcasm, "You're a Follower?"

"Follower? Ha!" The girl scoffed, "Like I need to join a cult to relish on how awesome you are! I already spent most of my life watching your sh- I mean watching your stuff online. I still have your Fingerbang song on my smartphone! Name's Abby by the way!"

"Fingerbang?" Kyle asked, "Damn, that was a long time ago, but I don't remember that song getting published."

"If it did, we really should've asked for residuals," Kenny commented.

"Anyway, uh, Abby, is it?" Stan continued, "I'm sure we're all glad to meet a fan, but we're kinda looking for someone we're supposed to talk to."

"I'm guessing you mean that Follower Grand Priestess, right?" Abby asked, Stan promptly nodded.

"Yeah, I've met her before, those Followers are mostly weirdos, though I'm sure you already gathered that, but she's much more reserved than most, if a bit too refined for a town like South Park. But I'm going on a tangent."

Abby pointed the direction the Baskin Robbins booth was, "She's likely still at the Baskin Robbins with her kid, it's that way."

"Cool, thanks," Stan thanked Abby.

"No problem, I hope you and your friends have fun with godhood!' Abby cheerfully said as she walked off.

Sure enough, The Boys followed Abby's direction and found the Baskin Robbins and the two customers enjoying their time here; the first was a beautiful adult Caucasian woman with long raven hair and turquoise eyeshadow and dark red lipstick for make-up. Her clothes consisted a dark blue pea jacket covering most of her upper body, a black skirt with brown nylon stockings, black socks and black over-the-knee boots, her overall appearance gave her an air of refinement that would almost feel alien in a town like South Park. The second was a little girl sitting next to the adult woman who appeared to be a Caucasian 1st Grader dressed in what looked like Kyle's clothes tailor-made to fit her size, with two blond downward pigtails sticking out from under her green ushanka hat. They both appeared to oddly be the only customers having ice cream at the Baskin Robbins.

Stan looked and them and said, "Wow, that's actually pretty convenient. Smart money's on them being who we're looking for."

"Seriously?" Kyle asked incredulously, "Children worship us too?"

Cartman chuckled mischievously, "Hehehe! If that's a problem for you Kahl, perhaps I can talk her into following my road of Pride."

"Oh don't you fucking go there, Cartman!" Kyle glared angrily, even if he didn't agree to the idea of being worshiped himself, the thought of an innocent little girl worshiping someone like Cartman was far worst in his mind.

"Save it for after we get to the bottom of this, guys," Stan intervened, "We still need some answers, come on."

The boys walked over to the Baskin Robbins, the adult woman immediately noticed them approaching her and gave a welcoming smile.

"Ah, Lord Stan, Lord Kyle, Lord Eric, and Lord Kenny, we are blessed and honored," the adult woman greeted in a refined tone, "My daughter and I have both wondered when we would eventually have audience with you, though we didn't expect we would do so during what is usually casual time for us."

"riiiiight," Stan said, " let's get to the point; Are you this Grand Priestess those Followers told us to look for?"

"Why yes," The adult woman confirmed, "But oh! In my enthusiasm I forgot to introduce us, I am Beatrice Beaumont, Grand Priestess of the Followers of the Mountain. This young lady sitting next to me is my daughter Lilly Beaumont."

Lilly stood up off her chair, walked up to Kyle and went down on her knees in prayer;

"As he whose wisdom bent the universe to his will, may I hope for at least the smallest fraction of your insight to guide me through any troubles I may face. May I help the innocent find virtue and see the wicked find folly in their misdeeds in my new life in the Holy Town. Lord Kyle, accept my prayer."

Kyle felt really awkward over a small girl praying to him, but figured in good conscience that he should try to let her down gently.

"Uh, kid? There are other ways to gain wisdom aside from praying for it," Kyle pointed out, "If you're aiming to be as smart as me, it's actually not that hard, just study hard, do well at school, and don't listen to anything Cartman says to you."

"Ey!" Cartman called out angrily.

Lilly blushed intensely, but did her best to keep her composure in front of Kyle. She gave a joyous smile that gave Kyle the impression that Lilly saw him as more of a crush than a choice of deity, and that talking with him was a dream come true to her.

"Thank you, Lord Kyle," Lilly said with joy and amazement, "I'll do my best to follow your advice."

"Please don't me 'Lord'," Kyle requested, having decided to be a bit more direct, "It kinda makes me uncomfortable."

"R-right, my apologies, Lo- I mean Kyle!" Lilly said with an embarrassed tone as she retreated back to her seat with her mom.

Beatrice gave her daughter a gentle smile and started petting Lilly's back to comfort her. She gave the same smile to Kyle when she turned her head to her, "I imagine part of you is flattered to have someone regard you as a role model, Lilly here has idolized you even well before she joined the Followers."

"Speaking of which," Kyle said, "How do you even know enough about us to base a religion around us? I mean, between you Followers, our school's first resource officer, and some teen girl we just met minutes ago, it seems suddenly a lot of people know more about us than they should."

Beatrice gave a refined chuckle, "Ah, I was hoping you would bring this up, allow me to show you all something."

Beatrice pulled out something from her purse and placed it on the table for the boys to see.

Nothing could have prepared them for what they saw, to their shock, amazement, and confusion.

It was a DVD digipak, titled "South Park: The Complete First Season." The boys could see pictures of themselves on the front of the cover.

It only took seconds for the boys to put two and two together.

"You're telling us….." Stan's voice trailed off in shock, "Our lives were based on a show?"

"That's impossible!" Kyle exclaimed, "This has to be some joke!"

Even Cartman was almost at a loss for words at the revelation, he could only softly say, "Well, holy shit."

Kenny, however, was genuinely at a loss for words.

"I know this is a lot to take in," Beatrice said in a gentle tone, "Take as much time as you need, Lilly and I are more than willing to answer any questions you may have."

Sure enough, the boys found themselves spending a good few minutes asking Beatrice and Lilly questions about their 'Show', the mother and daughter brought up things like the show's creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone, how the show started at 1997, and so on. Kenny noticed that neither of them ever brought up (or even hinted at) his frequent deaths, but decided it wasn't a good time to pry for answers.

They admitted that the Followers are, in truth, actually a subgroup consisting of a fraction of South Park's sudden new neighbors, who are all fans of the show who came from a different universe.

"So you're all fans of our show from another dimension?" Stan asked, "How did you get here?"

"You could say the cosmos were kind enough to give us those means," Beatrice replied, "A gateway from our world to yours opened a couple months ago. None of us were able to figure out how it came to be. But word spread rather quickly and many fans wanted to jump head first into the portal to visit South Park. Us Followers had to seize the portal and regulate its use so that fans didn't go in unprepared and no one native to your universe would come through to ours. After we finished building a monastery around where the portal was in your dimension, we started allowing regular fans to come through before all of us came through ourselves."

"Wait, where the portal 'was'?" Kyle asked.

"Yes, I'm afraid the portal closed on us after the entirety of us Followers finished coming through about a week ago," Beatrice admitted, though seemed strangely unbothered about bringing it up, "So for better or worse, we're all living new lives permanently stuck in your universe."

Stan noticed Beatrice's tone and remarked, "You seem a bit too accepting over not being able to go home."

"Speaking as a woman of my faith," Beatrice stated, "I find living a new life in the Holy Town a step forward to my religion. And even if we disregard that, Lilly and I have found the town's eccentric community much more to our liking. I know most of the Followers feel the same way as well as plenty of non-Follower fans. And while I'm sure there are some who are less than thrilled with being stuck here, I have yet to hear of any confirmed cases in that regard."

Beatrice then pulled out a piece of paper and placed it on the Boys' side of the table.

"But I'm sure you'll want some time to digest these new revelations," Beatrice said as she pulled out some stuff out of her purse, "Here's my cell phone number and directions to the Follower Monastery in the southern outskirts of town, as well as a bus pass for each of you to help you get there an back quickly, now if you excuse us, my lords, I think it's time my daughter and I headed home."

Beatrice and Lilly stood up and started walking off, but then they stopped themselves after taking a few step, turned to the boys, and both gave them curtsies.

"It's been a pleasure, my lords, fare thee well," Beatrice said her goodbyes, "And whether you see your newfound godhood as a good or bad thing, know that most of us fans, especially us Followers, are on your side and wish only to aid you in whatever troubles this town throws your way. I'm sure even your school's new resource officer wants nothing but the best for you."

Beatrice and Lilly made their exit, leaving the boys with only these newfound shocking truths to think about.


End file.
